Anacondas large enough to crush an SUV. Crocodiles strong enough to leap onto speedboats. When they're not hunting for human prey, they're more than willing to tkae on each other. Get ready for a non-stop bloodbath unlike anything you've seen before in this heart-pounding battle between mutated crocodiles and genetically engineered anacondas. Packed with hot sorority girls, big guns, and jaws massive enough to swallow a human in one bite, this is one screaming good time!
In the film, Sarah Murdoch is the head of an evil scientific corporation, who plans to successfully mate, a genetically modified Anaconda with a Crocodile, to create what she has coined, a "Crocaconda". With her henchman, Beach, along with the help of Crocodile poacher John Brinkman, they, with a team of Scientists, are able to apprehend a Crocodile, and begin the process. However, before the process is completed, the crocodile busts loose, while also freeing the group of snakes that were horded by the group. Meanwhile, Reba Butler, former poacher, and game warden, is now a Sheriff in Aroostook County, a small town in Maine. Reba works to maintain the safety of the town, as she is currently working a missing persons case. However, little does she know that, history would soon repeat itself, as Aroostook County, becomes the victim of several Crocodile attacks. As Butler works with Fish and Wildlife enforcer, Will "Tully" Tull, to literally pick up the pieces. Elsewhere, members of the Delta Phi Beta sorority(which includes Tull's daughter, Bethenny) gear up and head to Clear Lake for a retreat. But it is also unbeknown to them that they would also be heading right into a path in which both the Crocodiles and Anacondas would soon collide. As the bodies, or what's left of them, continue to pile up, They believe that their only trouble are rouge Crocodiles, however, Butler soon comes to realize that the problem, this time, is much larger than before. Because, not only do they have to fend off the two behemoths of nature, whose paths do cross, they also must deal with Murdoch and the members of her crew, who will stop at nothing, to ensure that their plan to create a unique breed, goes off without fail.
With both of them each having four films between them, the idea of merging the LAKE PLACID and ANACONDA franchises seemed to be the only option left, if there was one. So the arrival of the mash-up, LAKE PLACID VS, ANACONDA, truly comes as no surprise. Years ago, this likely would not have happened seeing as the two series where put out by two different distributors(FOX with LAKE PLACID, and SONY with ANACONDA). But since in recent years, the SYFY CHANNEL has held a license for both entities, this option became available, and more likely. And of course, since a film like SHARKNADO has become such a phenomenon for them, there was absolutely no chance that this film was not going to happen. So with this in mind. It is upon us, the clash of two cinematic titans - one that we didn't need, but because of SHARKNADO, we got anyway.
"So is it good?". The quickest answer I can give is no. I believe that the last film that I reviewed from either series was LAKE PLACID : THE FINAL CHAPTER. And while that film wasn't great, it wasn't that bad. In fact, it had things about it that made it a little fun, such as the involvement of Yancy Butler and Robert Englund. A plus for that film was that I never really remembered enjoying any of the ANACONDA sequels that much. So, as I went into LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA, I hoped that the film would side more with LAKE PLACID than with ANACONDA. Which it does. This film, feels much more like a LAKE PLACID film than the other, because the story found here, is a direct continuation of the story seen in the last two LAKE PLACID entries. In LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA, things pick up as "Reba Butler", the character from LAKE PLACID 3, and the fourth entry, LAKE PLACID : THE FINAL CHAPTER, has had another career change, and is now a Sheriff of a small town. Also joining Yancy Butler from THE FINAL CHAPTER, as he reprises his role as John Bickerman, the vile poacher, who narrowly escaped with his life after the last outing(in fact, he was presumed dead after that last film, I think. I guess they just needed an Actor who could draw more money), is Robert Englund. The crossover occurs on account of Englund's character, who conducts business with a shady business woman named Susan Murdoch, who owns and operates a scientific corporation called Wexel. They are exactly the type of villians found in an ANACONDA film, so there's that - the connection is made. Other than this, and for the fact that this story also features Anaconda, are the only thing which tie the two creature franchises together, albeit in a very loose fashion. The rest of the film is pretty much, LAKE PLACID, but unfortunately, the end result is less inspired. In fact the plot found in this film, is nearly identical to the one that we found in LAKE PLACID : THE FINAL CHAPTER. In THE FINAL CHAPTER. That plot involved a High School swim team, who is feasted upon by crocs, because they simply came to the wrong lake by mistake. Here, it's pretty much the same scenario, only this time, it's not a swim team, but a sorority, who have come to the lake for a getaway. There is no build up at all, aside from Murdoch and her goons attempting to cross breed the two species. Other than that, there really is no story. A few girls run around screaming, most of the time, either topless or in a bikini, as the actresses, who portray them, desperately try to react to something that isn't there physically. Featured here are Actors and Actress, who have little experience acting with other people, let alone with something that has been created with CGI, so as you can imagine, it's pretty bad. And speaking of bad. There is the aforementioned CGI. While I did let the CGI have a pass with LAKE PLACID : THE LAST CHAPTER, as the film was ok overall, the CGI featured here is definitely a step down in terms of quality. While the CGI in neither of the sequels have been that great, the CGI work seen here, makes you kind of appreciate the previous work more. By the looks of it, it just appears as though the CGI for this film was a little rushed. It's a little shoddy, and the computer generated creatures don't always stack up between their real life counterparts. Whether it be actors are other objects. The work definitely is a clear sign of the film's budget, that's for sure. And in speaking of the CGI, I guess you're wondering about the "epic" showdown, between Crocodile and Anaconda, right? Well, the truth is, that it's really not that epic at all. Coming in at the end(which means that you have to wait for a little over an hour for anything "cool" to happen), the confrontation that the title is so booasts about, lasts for about a total of five minutes, tops. A weak five minutes at that. The only thing cool about the "fight", is that a giant Anaconda is seen wrapping itself around, and squeezing the crocodile, although, it looks much like a cheap late '90s video game, it is at least, "something".
Beyond its bad CGI, LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA desperately tries to save itself, by not only throwing boobs at us, but comedy as well. On a rare occasion, in B-Movies, this sometimes works, however in the case of this film, the desperate humor is just lame. From the girls, attacking a Crocodile with hairspray and a lighter, and then later having one of them punch it in the face, to the antics of Reba's nitwit partner, the film just tries too hard to evoke laughter, however it comes off as being disinginuine. The film does push hard for us to like Butler's bumbling partner ——- however, as it repeats the same stupid long-running joke gags over and over through out the film, it instead, becomes more annoying than anything else. I mean, how many incompetent Police Officers are we going to see? It seems like just about every film like this has at least one. The comedy just failed to hit the mark. At least with me.
And as for Stars Yancy Butler and Robert Englund? Well, they're back, and this time, they're joined by Corin Nemic, whom has also starred in a number of these SYFY CHANNEL flicks However, here they all seem tired(which they probably are), and appear to have just merely phoned in their performances. They are clearly just "pay checking" it here, because like the film, their performances lack enthusiasm and excitement. Their collective showing here is about as fake as the CGI that seen in the film, and that's saying something.
In closing. While, I can't say that I expected a great film, I at least hoped that it would be fun. Unfortunately, LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA is neither of those things - not that i'm surprised. If either franchise had any good left in them, it has now been milked dry. This film is sure-fire evidence of that, and it seems to serve as proof that it is now more about quantity than quality.
IMPRESSION OF THE FILM
Although it was really cheesy in the truest of senses, LAKE PLACID : THE FINAL CHAPTER gave me hope, hope for more fun, cheap B-Movies like it. However, LAKE PLACID VS. ANACONDA is an unfortunate step back, as it reverts things back to generic form, in what might possibly be the most boring way imaginable. I won't say that the idea of a showdown between the Crocodiles an Anacondas had potential, as it wasn't all that exciting from the start. But you'd think that it would have been better than this film, which is nothing more than an obvious, sad attempt to cash in. This is especially true, seeing as SHARKNADO(a film that I still have yet to see), is seemingly now all the rage. I say skip this one.
This film will be released on DVD on August 4, 2015.