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Overall Rating : 5.5/10
Directed By : David Giancola
Anna Nicole Smith (Skyscraper)
Joanie Laurer( "Chyna" World Wrestling Entertainment)
Lenise Sorén (Nikos the Impaler)
Gladys Jimenez
Supplied By : MTI Home Video
Film Reviewed By : Rick L. Blalock
Date Reviewed : Apr. 26, 2007
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| PLOT Charlie's Angels" goes sci-fi, with a touch of "Men In Black" thrown in for good measure, when three aliens morph into super-hot babes and arrive to protect the earth from the intergalactic forces of evil. Guided by Syntax, their holographic mentor, these Illegal Aliens are willing to use every trick in the book and every sexy outfit in their wardrobe to accomplish their mission! This film is filled with high-energy action, lowbrow spoofs and the high-camp acting reminiscent of the classic B-Movie genre how else could this film get away with Anna Nicole Smith saving the world? "Illegal Alien's" pokes fun at today's Hollywood and pays tribute to the so-called "Bad Movies" we all love to hate! |
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| THE REVIEW In the low budget Sci-Fi adventure ILLEGAL ALIENS, three alien special agents were sent to earth to rid planet of evil aliens who set out to destroy the world. One such alien named Rex has returned and now taken over the body of an Italian crime boss's wife. Rex is after various parts needed to construct a huge laser beam that the alien believes will demolish the world for all eternity. With the help of the help of their trusty holographic generated leader named Syntax, the crime fighting girls must find the scientist in charge of creating the laser contraption, and Rex before the world is destroyed forever. When the said scientist is kidnapped by Rex, and later one of their own in Lucy, the two remaining "Illegal Aliens, Cameron and Drew must go it alien. No, ILLEGAL ALIENS. is not a movie about people entering our country illegally(well in a way, maybe) it is what a group of "good-girl" aliens from outer space call themselves. By day 2 of them are successful stunt-women while one of them, a reality tv star(really not a far stretch for the late Anna Nicole Smith), but by night they all have one agenda to kick the ass of any villain that step in their way. From the very beginning all things are apparent, you know this will be low budget, and you know that not for one second is it serious, nor should it be taken that way. ILLEGAL ALIENS has a feeling of pure 80's and on it's way from start to finish, it knows exactly what it's doing. Front and center, the film's aim has those cheesy films of the 80's(and even 70's), right in it's crosshairs. You know they films that were so bad, yet still continued to roll on in a serious manner? ILLEGAL ALIENS is different because it knows it's bad, and goes out of it's way to make sure you know it too - it wears it's awfulness like a shiny badge of honor. More proof of this is right in the audience's face. Almost anyone would notice this is nothing more than a CHARLIE'S ANGELS story thinly disguised, they even take order's from an odd "Charlie-like" enigma named Syntax(in which even in some scenes, the bubbly one mistakenly calls Charlie anyway). We follow the girls, whose names are Lucy, Cameron, and Drew(get it? the names of the actresses in the newer CHARLIE'S ANGELS movies - how clever), as they go on another crime fighting adventure. We really do get the sense that they have been in many battles, with many a nemesis - yet in bad movie fashion, they happen to fight like it's their first day on the job. Anna Nicole Smith, in this her last role before her untimely death in February, plays the child-like airhead of the group, who often speaks in "baby talk". It seems that with this character Anna chose to essentially mock herself, and what the public perceives her to be - I believe she happened to be a lot smarter than we knew her to be, and her she is seemingly having fun at her own expense and reputation. The two other girls that join her to form the Illegal Aliens, Lenise Sorén, and Gladys Jimenez, I am not familiar with, but the three ladies seemed to hit it off as their on screen relationship is quite believe able. The problem acting-wise was all in the villainous roles of, the film. The villains are lead by former Wrestler Joanie "Chyna" Laurer, whom is just awful. I know this was and is supposed to be a purposely bad movie, but Laurer's acting is just I downright travesty - in my opinion I see her having no future in this profession in all honesty, Again, ILLEGAL ALIENS sets out and accomplishes what it aimed to do, and that was to make a mockery of a distinct group of films - the kind that try so hard to become a classic, but due to low funds, resources or whatever else it may be, they just can't, while ultimately becoming classics for an entirely different reason. This film virtually has all things that make a bad film, bad dialog, make-shift sets, the use of stock film footage, that's contrast is not in sync with the film it's cut into and more, but perhaps the most endearing thing about this film is, that it knows it.... |
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| GORE
METER 1/10 Just some gunshot wounds and a fake electrocution near the end of the film. |
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| MUSICAL
SCORE 4/10 The score seems to fit the film well, as it too is not serious but fun...mostly funk music. |
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| OVERALL
IMPRESSION OF THE FILM Not the best "spoof" film available, but this is one that you can sit back and just watch, your brain is not required here, This being Anna Nicole's last film, at least it was fun, and by the looks of it, she had a lot of fun creating it. Being honest, while this wouldn't necessarily be on my top recommendations list, I will say it's worth a look for it's on-purpose self-humor... ANNA NICOLE SMITH (Vickie Lynn Hogan) 1967 - 2007 This DVD will be released on May 1, 2007. |
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