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Overall Rating : 2.5/10
Directed By : Ana Clavell, James Glenn Dudelson
AJ Bowen
Kris Allen
Stephanie Pettee
Emmett McGuire
Supplied By : HBO Home Video
Film Reviewed By : Rick L. Blalock
Date Reviewed : May. 17, 2007
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| PLOT This third installment in the George Romero/Stephen King-launched anthology series features five new tales of horror and a wraparound. The main stories deal with alternative realities ("Alice"), possessed communication devices ("The Radio"), vampires and serial killers in lust ("Call Girl"), mad inventors ("The Professor's Wife"), and hauntings from beyond ("Haunted Dog"). |
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| THE REVIEW Since this film is presented in 5 individual short stories I will be writing a brief summary of each and then, I will include my overall thoughts on the film as a whole. ALICE ALICE, is obviously about a young teenage girl named Alice. Alice is fed up with everything it seems, from her neighbors and neighborhood to her own family who think that she needs to improve herself. Well all the things Alice really despises soon change when her dad buys a universal remote for the family television. With one push of a button on the remote, everything changes, from the neighborhood to Alice's entire family, but it also seems that with every push Alice deteriorates more and more....and as the story would end, Alice would for some reason turn into a rabbit. The rabbit would make appearances in several of the forthcoming stories, and would be owned by the wacky professor, Professor Dayton. This story was a little on the odd side, I am guessing it was meant to be scary - but just doesn't work, due for the story's goofy and comical nature. For the fifteen minutes or so that the film ran, I was trying to figure out just what type of story it was trying to be. The description describes the story as dealing with "alternate realities", if the back of the DVD case wouldn't have told me that...I wouldn't have known, as the story's plot isn't as coherent, as I thought it was trying to be comedic. RATING : 2.5/10 THE RADIO THE RADIO, is about a guy named Jerry, whom buys a radio from a homeless man. This isn't any radio, as the device begins talking to Jerry, whom works as a Security Guard. The radio, more or less begins to consume Jerry's everyday life - he takes it to work and everywhere he goes because the radio demands him to do so. The radio also begins to urge him to do things in which, Jerry, a mild-mannered guy, normally wouldn't do, like still some money a guy in his apartment building has stashed away.....and to kill. He does just that and the actions, brought on by the radio changes who he is and his actions would later result in his unsuspected death. Personally I though all 5 stories featured in CREEPSHOW 3 were a bit ridiculous, but THE RADIO has to be the most ridiculous. It all starts with the plot, just who would believe that a man would take orders from a beat up old radio anyway? Especially with the guy ending up killing someone because a radio told him to.....come on! I also didn't understand the ending which seemed to me that all along the radio was in "cahoots" with the man in which Jerry stole the money from... it just was stupid, to put it nicely... RATING : 2/10 CALL GIRL CALL GIRL follows...well a call girl named Rachel. Rachel calmly roams the street, but has a hidden agenda - after she does her duty with clients, she kills them with no remorse, in cold blood. Her crimes have gained a popularity with news coverage, so much so that they how coined her "The Call Girl Killer". Rachael later gets a call from a young guy, whom we assume is a college student, he informs Rachel that he is in need of a little "companionship for the night. When Rachel arrives, the guy Victor seems a little geeky, but she goes along with it. Victor tells rachel that his parents and brother are out of town for the weekend - but in reality, they aren't his family at all...he killed them! Rachel ties up and blindfolds her "client just as he asked, but it isn't long before she viciously stabs him. She takes a quick shower, and after that we find that Victor isn't dead at all, he's a vampire, and to end the story he attacks an unsuspecting Rachel, and he dies in a pool of blood. In my opinion, CALL GIRL is the most complete, and coherent story of this 5 story collection. It plays out as a traditional slasher and not some kooky fantasy story like the rest of the film does, making it the most enjoyable. Adding that the client was a vicious killer himself was brilliant plot twist, but to call him a vampire would be unclear to the audience, because the makeup effects look nothing like a vampire would - but I guess he is. Overall it was my favorite of the lot - but a masterpiece by no means... RATING : 4/10 THE PROFESSOR'S WIFE Basically, plot of THE PROFESSOR'S WIFE is simple. Two of Professor Dayton's smartest students, John and Charles come to visit him after years of not seeing him. The purpose? Drayton is marrying his new Girlfriend, Kathy. The two students think it's weird that after all these years the Professor finally has a Girlfriend and is marrying - they also think Kathy is too "perfect". When Dayton leaves to go pick up something for his wife, suspicions begin to run through the students' heads, as well as old memories of their teacher. No suspicion greater than the time, he told the boy's that some day he would create the perfect woman robotically. John and Charles then come up with the idea of showing their Professor how smart they are, by finding Kathy's "off switch" The eventually dismember the wife and after they are drenched in her blood, they realize that Kathy, the woman of their Professor's dreams was indeed no robot. This one, was a bit strange and cheesy, but at the same time, kinda clever. I guess it just goes to show that yes, some women do talk and act like a robot. John and Charles' mistake lands them in a big mess, as this story would prove to be the most gory of the collection. The overall story wasn't that great, but i'd say it's decent, RATING : 3/10 HAUNTED DOG Dr. Farwell, is man that is self-centered, and always thinks of his self and has no sympathy for others, not even his patients. One day he buys a hot dog from a street vendor, he happens to drop it on the ground, and then he later offers it to a homeless guy of whom he ignored earlier when the man asked him for change. The homeless man eats it, choking to his death, but that wouldn't be the last that Farwell would see of him. From then on out, Dr. Farwell is haunted by the ghost of the homeless man, who is still toting the fateful hotdog. I get it, this is the story with morals the story with a lesson. I am all for stories with messages of good, but have the filmmakers forgotten that this is a HORROR anthology? Good, the man gets punished for being so heartless, that's a good thing, but way this story's plot is built up, it seems to be out of place here. Just because you throw in a ghost doesn't make a Horror story in my opinion. - it would be more a drama and even with the funny antics of Dr. Farwell towards his patients, it could even be a comedy. And even more to validate that claim, come on, the guy is haunted by a guy that choked on a hot dog - which is hilarious to me. RATING : 2.5/10 To be honest, I have never seen the first two entries of this series, both of which George A. Romero and Stephen King played a part in creating. But what's amazing is that without even seeing the first two, I can already go on the record and say those were better than CREEPSHOW 3. Why do I say this? Because neither of the 5 stories feature here have one bit of genuine fright in them, Horror is supposed to make you scared and frightened, not laugh and yawn. Neither King, nor Romero were involved in this, and that is painfully obvious in CREEPSHOW 3. Everything seems so average, in execution and acting, all the way down to some of the stories not making sense at all, and all of them being silly. It was great that all 5 stories were tied together in the end, but all of it has very little meaning, as the rest on the film wasn't consistent enough to have an ending that would feel satisfying to anyone. The best part of this whole movie, was a small cameo by Eileen Dietz whom was Linda Blair's double in THE EXORCIST, as a God-preaching homeless woman, who would be killed by Rachel. The DVD does have a "making of" featurette, but I honestly had no interest in checking it out... |
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| GORE
METER 4.5/10 Let's see...rotting skin, stab wounds, blood splatter, dismembered body parts, etc. |
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| MUSICAL
SCORE 1/10 The score is so tame, I barely remember it, and what I do remember was far more comedy -like than that of a Horror film |
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| OVERALL
IMPRESSION OF THE FILM Overall, CREEPSHOW 3 wasn't that enjoyable, and had nothing memorable about it. It felt like nothing more than a group of 5 stories that were rushed together, the production company slapped the name of a popular series onto it, and then sold it for a quick buck. This film doesn't have the depth of Stephen King story or the creative execution of a George A. Romero directed film, so for them to believe that they have made a true follow-up to a project created by two all-time greats is quite shameful. I wouldn't recommend, but if you are looking for more of a comedy rather than a Horror film, this might be for you... |
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